Commercial

Why not let me do your copywriting?

I provide a surprisingly professional copywriting service, without all the swearing if absolutely necessary, for all manner of corporate wank:

    *    Press releases
    *    Websites
    *    Brochures
    *    That kind of shit

I’m perfectly serious about this. I’m really good at it. And I need the money. And let's face it, we both know that I could do a far better job than the simpering, semi-literate half-wit who writes all your stuff at the moment.

Hang on - perhaps all your copywriting is done by that foxy twentysomething from the PR agency. Look, her writing really isn’t very good. She puts apostrophes in the possessive "its", for heaven's sake. And however young and attractive and sweet-smelling she is, remember this: she will never, ever fuck you.